I was recently given some feedback when closing down a project that I “can be a bit too emotional at times.” I remember thinking that the emotion was me being passionate, invested, more real and showed I cared. It took me a while to reflect on how I see myself personally and professionally, because what my fellow Skewber was not aware of, was that I have personally been described as “not emotional enough.”  At first, these bits of feedback felt like a contradiction. However I think it’s made me realise that not only myself, but many of us express emotion differently depending on the context. With me, when change affects others, I tend to feel a sense of responsibility. I care about their experience, the fairness of it, whether they feel informed or supported. But when the change affects me personally, I go into logic mode. I focus on the facts, the next steps, how to make it work and what are the practical things I can do to take some control. 

Funnily enough, this contrast has become one of my biggest strengths in change management. 

Last year, as part of my Journey 24, I attended a week long course to gain both a foundation and practitioner APMG Change Management qualification. It was led by Melanie Franklin. (For those who don’t know Melanie, I’d recommend checking out some of her free webinars https://agilechangemanagement.co.uk/events/ if you don’t mind a couple of minutes of sales pitch at the end) During the course she mentioned that change isn’t just a technical process. It involves emotion, identity and uncertainty. You can have the best plan in the world, but if you ignore how people are feeling, you’re likely to struggle with adoption and engagement. 

 One of the things that stood out for me, is that you don’t need to be a psychologist to support people through change. But you do need to pay attention. Be curious. Recognise resistance not as a problem to eliminate, but as a clue to explore. People aren’t always resisting a new system or structure. They might be letting go of something that mattered to them. 

So how can we use this insight in our day-to-day work, even if we’re not leading a major change programme? 

Here are a few small but effective tools that may be useful: 

• Acknowledge emotion in conversations. If someone seems frustrated or unsure, say so. For example: “That seemed to land quite heavily – shall we pause there?” It gives people permission to speak up. 

• Don’t rush to fix everything. When a colleague resists an idea, try asking “What’s on your mind?” instead of persuading them straight away. Often, people want to feel understood before they can move forward. 

• Think in layers – me, we, us. When introducing something new, consider how it impacts the individual (me), the team (we) and the organisation (us). This helps you connect both emotionally and logically. 

• Check in with yourself. Are you leading with logic when empathy is needed? Or getting swept up in emotion when a calm response might help? It’s not about changing who you are, but about choosing how you show up. 

When I think about Skewb, where we’re blending transformation with software products, this kind of emotional awareness is more important than ever. Products are built with logic, but adopted through trust and belief. Change doesn’t just happen in a delivery plan. It happens in day-to-day interactions, in one-to-one conversations, and in how we respond when things feel uncertain. 

Not only that, but there is something particularly powerful about showing up as ourselves when leading change. With honesty, empathy and a willingness to listen when perhaps those before haven’t, we can foster the environment where trust can grow, which in turn helps people open up, share their concerns and make the leap to try something new or deal with uncertainty more easily. Being an authentic leader doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means being honest enough to say “Let’s work it out together.” It means building on the relationships we already have through everyday chats, the challenges we’ve shared and the respect earned and using those to shape what comes next.  

So whether you’ve ever been called too emotional, not emotional enough, or somewhere in between, there’s value in noticing the small things. There’s value in caring.  And there’s real value in making space for others to do the same during their own change journey. 

Some final thoughts 

When writing this article, I found myself second guessing whether I sound like a robot, was I using too many em-dashes (the long — if you’re wondering) or have I accidentally let Word autocorrect a spelling to the American version by mistake. I think this is because my perception of authenticity and it’s importance in communication has changed recently. We live in a world where AI-generated content is blending more and more seamlessly into reality – where the ‘perfect’ answer is just a ChatGPT away. 

I think for a self-professed perfectionist, I’m much happier in a world that isn’t quite-perfect. One that contains the occasional typo or super-long sentence without room for a breath, but one you can resonate with because it is produced by a person with something valuable to say, rather than AI expressing how it thinks someone would say it. We, as Skewbers should continue to showcase that authenticity because I think that’s what sets us apart. 

By Alex Parkins

Alex Parkins is Principal Consultant at Skewb. To speak with him about this topic in more detail, you can connect with him on LinkedIn.