Not long ago, I attended a Mental Health First Aider webinar that offered an important reminder around self-care. The way we care for ourselves directly impacts how we show up at work, influencing our decision-making, our ability to collaborate and support colleagues, and how we deliver for clients. Self-care is about acknowledging and valuing our own needs, which is a fundamental aspect of our wellbeing. How well our own needs are met directly influences how we engage with the world around us, influencing our ability to navigate challenges and support others.
Self-care is not a luxury, nor is it selfish. An analogy often used in wellbeing training illustrates this well: during airline safety briefings, passengers are instructed to secure their own oxygen masks before assisting others. The logic is clear, we must be in a stable state ourselves to effectively support those around us. The same principle applies to our mental and emotional wellbeing.
Despite its importance, self-care is something many of us struggle to prioritise in our busy lives. The webinar highlighted several common barriers that often get in the way:
- The ‘Strong One’ Mindset
Many of us take pride in being the dependable rock for our families, friends, or colleagues, the one others can rely on. However, when we equate vulnerability with weakness, we risk suppressing our own needs. Being vulnerable and opening up requires an emotional risk. Many of us fear rejection or judgment if we would reveal personal challenges or struggles, especially when we identify as self-reliant. The pressure to appear self-reliant can lead us to neglect our needs, holding ourselves to unrealistic standards while pouring our energy into others. This can lead to burnout. - ‘Too Busy’
In today’s fast-paced world, being constantly busy is often seen as positive signs of productivity and importance. Self-care can get misinterpreted as a leisurely thing that important people don’t have time for. But research consistently shows that taking breaks and intentional self-care actually enhances our focus, creativity, performance and resilience. Self-care isn’t a distraction from success, it’s a prerequisite for it. - Comparison Culture
Whether we’re scrolling through social media or reflecting on others’ hardships, comparison can distort our perception of our own needs and lead to self-criticism. On the one hand we may fall into the trap of thinking, “I’m not doing enough”. This fosters feelings of inadequacy and makes us withdraw. On the other hand, we might think “It’s not that bad, others have it worse”. Downplaying feelings in this way invalidates them and leaves them unaddressed. Both perspectives can invalidate our emotions and discourage us from seeking support. But our feelings are always valid, regardless of how they measure up to someone else’s experience.
Do any of the above mentioned barriers resonate with you?
The key takeaway is that when we make self-care a priority, we equip ourselves to face life’s demands with greater clarity and strength. It’s not just not just about feeling good, it’s about being our most balanced, capable, and compassionate selves. It enables us to manage pressure, adapt to change, and to contribute meaningfully to our teams and organisations.
What self-care looks like will be different for each of us. What matters is staying attuned to your needs and giving yourself permission to meet them, unapologetically. Acknowledging and expressing our needs is essential to maintaining our wellbeing, and is also the best role model we can be for others. In doing so, we not only enhance our own performance but also help foster a healthier, happier and more supportive workplace culture.
By Mariëlle Brouwer
Mariëlle Brouwer is Sr. Business Consultant at Skewb. To speak with her about this topic in more detail, you can connect with her on LinkedIn.
